Joke jokes
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
Why are bald eagles bald? Because you're bald!
What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?
A plane wingless.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
What does the policeman say to the jumper?
"Hey! Pullover!"
Leprechauns are stupid. No joke.
Are you a toaster?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
My life is a joke.
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas!
(Even though cows can't really have religions.)
What did one cat say to the other? Happy "meow"!
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
What did one nut say to the other nut? "Help!"
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
What did a car say hi to?
It said hi to the school.