Joke jokes
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
"Between you and me, something smells!"
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
Because it saw your face!
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
What is a bus ride that is dumb? A boring one.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.
Why did the cow cross the road to go to the moovies?
What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster.
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
What do you call an egg murder?
An eggs-terminator!
I love jokes!
What did the bus driver say to the car?
"What is your address?"
What did the bus driver say to the nut 🥜?
"Where do you live?"
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.