Joke jokes
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".
I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ididap.
Ididap who?
That's the joke, you did a poo!
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he. 😂😂
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
Why do people say "cheese" in a camera?
Because they were using the computer.
What is your summer name? Hot.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
What time is it when dogs are an appointment? Time to scream!
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
"Between you and me, something smells!"
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
Because it saw your face!
What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?
Time to go to the doctor! 🥼
What is a bus ride that is dumb? A boring one.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.