Joke jokes
So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
Rape jokes aren't funny.
This is the true worst joke ever:
What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?
Hi!
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
Riddles not jokes.
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
And last one:
What can rule, but not command?
Tell me the answers in the comments.
Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.
What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising).
Dark humor jokes are like kids with cancer.
They never get old.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
I sit because I can't stand you.
I guess Neptune is next to Your Anus XDDDD.
What cow can part water? Mooses.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Me.
Person one: What did the DJ name his son?
Person two: IDK, what?
Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).
Why did Helen Keller have a yellow leg?
Her dog was blind, too.
Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?