Joke jokes
Me: I named my dog Five Miles so I can tell people I walk five miles every day.
Old man: I ran over five miles today.
Yesterday, I saw a "woman's rights" book in the library, so I put it in the fiction section and got kicked out.
Hi, I have a question for you.
Did you know that reading this is wasting your time?
Yeah, sorry xD
Why was six afraid of seven?
Seven was a registered six offender.
Q: How did Helen Keller break her wrist?
A: Reading road signs.
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.
Why does the orphan hate family jokes?
Cus it doesn't have one.
Line (DYM 105)
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."
Why is a sick person and California similar? They tend to burn up.
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
People, please check out Tenya's jokes. Girl, love, cheetah, blue jokes!
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
What's an orphan's favorite website?
It has a homepage.