Joke jokes
I know I'm valuable.
I come with a barcode.
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Deez.
Deez who?
Deez nuts!
I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.
What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?
The vegetable gets picked.
What’s the worst part of a vegetable?
A wheelchair.
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in milk?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a gay drive up?
A fruit roll-up.
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
What do you call an animal flouting?
Super bird!
What do you call a running chicken?
Scared.
What do you call a fish without eyes?
A fsh.
Why crack your fingers when you can finger your crack?
Why can't orphans buy chips?
Because they're family sized!
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.
He hugged me!
What is big and bouncy and walks on stilts?
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
What do you call an orphan’s picture?
A family photo.