Joke jokes
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
Go to an orphanage and tell the kids their parents came back as an April Fools' joke.
A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"
What is an egg joke?
Egg-xcellent question!
Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)
What is big, round, and gassy? Uranus.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
A paraplegic after a house fire.
All I can see when I pass Saturn is Uranus because it's so big.
Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."
Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.
I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.
Why did Mars turn permanently red? Because it saw Uranus.
I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
Russia—the real joke.
"Do you know the Annoying Orange?"
"Yeah, they elected him before Biden!"
Why can't toilet paper cross the road? Because the toilet paper got stuck in a crack. 🤣🤣🤣
Why don't orphans go home at pickup?
Because they don't have parents to pick them up.