Joke jokes
Why can't orphans buy chips?
Because they're family sized!
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.
He hugged me!
What is big and bouncy and walks on stilts?
A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.
What do you call an orphan’s picture?
A family photo.
No.
What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette?
They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
What part of a vegetable can’t you eat?
The wheelchair. 😑
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is down, your mum's Facebook will do.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They told her to go find the light.
I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...
But now I don't know what to do with the letters.
Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?
Because they were just roman around.
Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."
I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
You know you're high when you hold all your pineapples hostage and yell, "SpongeBob, I know you're in there!"
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!