What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!
Joke Jokes
What did the two crewmates say when they were hanging on a rope? Polus up!
What is speedrunner's favorite type of food? FAST FOOD!
Which one fell first?
The depressed kid or the feather? Look at 1st comment to see answer.
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
What is smegma name?
What do you call a lying Mexican?
Pinocchico.
Why was the emo mad?
The picture got hung, not her.
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said, "Okay class, what's behind my back?" She said, "It's round and red," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's an apple!" And the teacher said, "No, but I like where you're going with this." So now the teacher said, "It is also used to make multiple things," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's a container of paint!" And the teacher said, "Again, no, but I like where you're going with this." And the teacher said, "It's a ball of yarn," as she pulled it out from behind her back. Then Little Johnny said, "Okay, my turn." He said, "What's in my pocket? It's round and it has a head." And the teacher said, "That's enough, Johnny, now sit down." And Little Johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said, "It's a nickel, but I like where you're going with this."
Want to hear a joke about prostitution?
Never mind, it's whoreable :)
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
Go to an orphanage and tell the kids their parents came back as an April Fools' joke.
A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"
What is an egg joke?
Egg-xcellent question!
