Joke jokes
What goes down but not up?
An emo.
My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
A priest and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
I love making jokes about orphans!
What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?
Definitely not 13, because my basement is still dark.
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
Why did my dad cross the road?
To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.
9/11 jokes are a bomb!
We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
A depressed kid gave me a high five. I left him hanging.
What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?
Nothing, they both fell.
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!
All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.