Joke jokes
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands! (I love this joke because it never grows old.)
These jokes crash and burn.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
I came on for an orphan joke.
Then I realized they are a joke.
What do you call the space in between Kim Kardashian's breasts?
Silicon Valley.
If R. Kelly was a therapist:
14 year old: I hate my life.
R. Kelly: I feel you.
How do you make an orphan's hand bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
What did the plane say to the tower? "Yo, can I crash at your place for a bit, and can my boy crash at your boy's place?"
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
9/11 jokes are the bomb.
Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"
So that way they feel important.
What do you call an Indian with pink hair?
Ghandi floss.
I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.
Why don't orphans understand dad jokes?