Johnny Jokes

Where did Johnny go after he wandered into a minefield?

Everywhere

Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee. SO his mom said he can have one. He got an esspresso not knowing depresso came with it.

little johnny was late to class the teacher ask him where was he little johnny said i was on top of marry hill the a kid comes late to class and also said he was on marry hill then a little girl thats about 4 or 5 comes in the teacher ask who are you she said IM MARRY HILL

Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch...; “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!” The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no.” said the teacher terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.'”

Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids so I came and hellped

He won’t stand against the three of us!

Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator? He grew up a Florida Man, after all.

One day little johnny went to his grandma's house and she asks "do you like nuts" and little johnny says "yes i like nuts" and his grandma says "okay then grab them out of the cabinet" so little johnny went and grabbed them and he was sad after he grabbed them his grandma then says "whats wrong?" little johnny says "i thought they were real nuts." and his grandma fainted.

Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: Do you have chocolate filled ice cream? The man replies: We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one? Johnny replies: Sure. After that the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later the man comes with a ice cream and Johnny's phone. Johnny asks: How much for the ice cream? The man replies: Nothing, its on the house. After Johnny ate hes delicious ice cream, he searched for hes watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.

"Hi Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?" " Oh, Johnny you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs." "I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."

Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home. They got in the car, and his mother asked "Johnny, what did you do this time? So johnny pulled his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home his dad was off work and heard that johnny was coming home early from school, once again he asked johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised so his dad pulled down his pants and said "Big whale, big whale."

What if little johnny was doing drugs? johnny johnny? yes papa? eating sugar? no papa...

What is a geographical discovery? Little Johnny found his geography homework undone

LITTLE JOHHNY WALKS INTO LIVING ROOM AND ASKING HIS PARENTS MOM DAD WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSSBREED A BULLDOG AND SHITZU. THE MOTHER AND FATHER SHRUGS AND SAYS WE HAV NO IDEA JOHNNY WHAT DO U GET AND LITTLE JOHHNY REPLIES YOU GET A BULLSHIT

The teacher said made the kids guess what a random word was and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier. Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, “I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!”

So In Prep class, The students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for grandparents day. Little Johnny's friend Little Sally write things like “thankyou” and “You are so nice!” And Little Johnny goes, “What are you doing you got it wrong!” So sally says, “What do you mean, it’s a letter.” Little Johnny says, “Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the Teacher said!” Then he says, “I wrote a J to remind them of me!”

Johnny: Why do cuss words exist? Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older. || 20 YEARS LATER || Johnny: Mom now can you tell me why cuss words exist? Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them. Johnny: Damn Mom you shoulda told me that when I was still seven cuz now I really feel like that person.