Jill

Jill jokes

Virus

  • "Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."

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  • Jack and Jill

  • Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.

    Jack got mad and kicked Jill in the ass because she couldn't make him cum.

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  • Whore

  • Jack and Jill went up a hill, each with a buck and a quarter.

    Jill came down, and she had two-fifty! Oh, what a whore! (Andrew Dice Clay joke.)

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  • Shit

  • Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit. Jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty, and now they have a daughter.

    Secret: Jill didn’t go in the shit yet. Jack went in first and died! :D

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  • Tech

  • Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?

    Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!

    Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?

    Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!

    Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.

    A FEW MOMENTS LATER

    Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA

    Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?

    Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...

    TWO HOURS LATER

    Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!

    AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER

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  • Rum

  • Jack and Jill went up the hill, both had Bacardi rum. When Jill's was gone, she wanted Jack's, that's why she took it from him.

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  • Teddy Bear

  • Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.

    She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"

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  • Day

  • One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.

    Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.

    "Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END

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  • Cock

  • Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone,

    “Boo.”

    “Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?”

    Jack sat down next to her and smiled.

    “I figured today was a good day to maybe go up to the hill?” He said.

    “That sounds fun,” said Jill.

    “C’mon, let’s go!”

    The kids climbed down from Jill’s second story window. They frolicked around in the fields, hair swaying in the wind, as they neared the nearby hill. Jack took Jill’s hand, and they skipped up to the very top of the hill. They sat down on the bright green grass and giggled.

    “You ready?” Asked Jack.

    “Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jill replied with a wink.

    Jack laid his hand on Jill’s chest, softly pushing her onto her back. He got down on his knees, and bent down to the bottom of her dress.

    “I’ve waited a long time for this...” he whispered.

    Jack slowly pulled up Jill’s dress with one hand, running the other up her thigh. His anticipation was building faster and faster. He looked her in the eyes as he slowly pulled down her panties. Once they were all the way off, he turned his head downward. His mouth opened, his eyes went wide. Jack was speechless. Before he could say anything, Jill slammed his head down, gagging him with her giant cock. She sat up as she slammed his head up and down. Jack began to feel dizzy as he gagged and coughed.

    “Silly Jack, didn’t you know? I’m not Jill. I never was. My name’s Randy. You’re mine now, Jack. So sit back, enjoy the ride.” Said Randy.

    Randy moved Jack’s head faster and faster as he threw his head back. It was coming, fast. All of a sudden, he stopped. Jack’s head stood still as his mouth became a fountain of white, drizzling all over Randy’s legs and onto the grass. Randy let go and Jack jumped back, spitting and trying to get it all out of his mouth. Just as the dizziness began to fade, Randy walked over. The last thing Jack saw was Randy’s fist hurtling towards him...

    Pill

  • Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.

    Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.

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  • Daughter

  • Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water. Jack fell down, his cock was out, and Jill gained a daughter.

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  • Candy stick

  • Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."

    He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.

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