Al fayed’s son arrives at heavens gates and sees his driver He shouts ‘ you stupid cunt ‘ The driver says ‘ Watch Boss? ‘ Dodi replies..::::: I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL
Jesus said to his disciples "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life". Thomas came fifth however so he only got a toaster.
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins he has all power but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea that’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different. Our lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven the promise land only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our lord. This is your choice believe and go to Heaven or don’t believe and go to Hell a eternal death make a choice.
Jesus told the world if he had to pick a body all over again that he would pick himself! He believes he is ( Gods gift to this earth) The best looking, the smartest, pure perfection!
Hahaha LOL Jajaj
And I Quote! " THATS WHY I PUT MYSELF NAKED ON THE CROSS IN CHURCHES TO SEE MY BODY !!!!"
GROSSEST, SCAREST, UGLIST, SLOPPY, DISRESPECTFUL, DISGUSTING, IT
If he actually ate the bullshit that came out of his mouth, He wouldn't of made up satan! He wouldn't Rape us, He wouldn't embody us! He wouldn't try to be us! USING OUF VOICES! USING OUR SPIRIT!
JESUS has had an all the time in the world and all the power in the world to do whatever he wanted.
Guess what he has to show for nothing, but putting us in hell!
Being an absolute waste Breathe of life, and of power !
Why was Jesus Christ cut from the hockey team? He kept getting nailed to the boards
Jesus is great because Jesus is good 😩😩😏Amen
Jesus is fake, He hides from himself
What is hell to you? Jesus!!!!! He is every where taking our time, and energy, and our lives for his entertainment. But judgement day is his eternal hell! And our Eternal Heaven!!
Jesus stinks so bad he killed all living things in heaven
Jesus is what he eats! Shit!
Oh no I feel bad for Steven Hawkins he can’t get up the stairway to heaven
According to Christianity, Jesus is the son of a GODFATHER
what is Jesus favorite Sports CrossFit
One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. "What's in the box?", the priest asks. "Christian kittens", the little girl answers. Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way. A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. "Ask her what she has in the box", he says, "It's the cutest thing!" The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. "Atheist kittens", she says. The priest rushes forward and says "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were "Christian kittens!!!" "They were", she says. "Now their eyes are open".
what is jesus's favourite exercise? cross fit.
Oh, fuckshit, bitch, damn cocksucker Pussy, asshole, cunt Mother fuckin' dirty whore, shat onto my lunch Pisscunt, damn bitch, suck my dick Jesus Harold Christ Shit bitch, cocksucker, Goddamn motherfucker, pussy, asshole cunt
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus so he asks his class, “where is Jesus today?”
Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven”
Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart”
Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”
The teacher says, “how do you know this?”
Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bang on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?”
What’s the difference between jesus and a plank of wood?
A plank of wood can take nails to the extremities without screaming
fatty and skinny were in a bed fatty rolled over and skinnt was peg
