Jackson jokes
What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.
What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's hand.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
Your hairline is so screwed that Michael Jackson can't even moonwalk to your hairline.
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only difference between Michael and Jeffrey is Epstein wasn't a smooth criminal, and Michael was.
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
What did Michael Jackson say?
Nothing, he's dead.
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
Name one person who would take an orphan?
Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
Michael Jackson is like a TV from the 1900s: black and white.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Kids turn them on.
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.