Jackson jokes
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein?
Only difference between Michael and Jeffrey is Epstein wasn't a smooth criminal, and Michael was.
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.
Your hairline is so screwed that Michael Jackson can't even moonwalk to your hairline.
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
What did Michael Jackson say?
Nothing, he's dead.
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
Name one person who would take an orphan?
Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.
Who's white and has a big penis? Michael Jackson.
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.