Jackson Jokes

I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.

Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(

Whats worse than ants down your pants, Michael Jackson

Normal people: I'm my own nationality.

Michael Jackson: Click here to change nationality.

In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.

Why did Michael Jackson die?

Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.

What did Michael Jackson say when he became a triangle? Tetraheehee!

Knock knock Who’s there I suck I suck who Michael Jackson

Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?

Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?

What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?

Someone gets hurt.

You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?

Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...

Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.

Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.

One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.

Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?

To get to the opera.

Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:

Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"

What was Michael Jackson's favorite flavor from Ben and Jerry's? "Schweaty balls," or if you're Michael Joseph Jackson, "tiny balls."

Knock Knock Who's there? Little Boy Blue Little Blue Boy who Michael Jackson

What do you call a female Michael Jackson? She she.

If you thought an inner-city black boy cannot transform into a deranged pale Karen... well, just look at Michael Jackson.

The teacher asked a young boy in primary school, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"

To which the boy replies, "No."

The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.

At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"

"Shut up," she replied.

The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks, "Can you teach me the alphabet?"

But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"

The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.

But his brother is singing, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"

The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.

But his sister is singing, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"

The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.

The boy replies, "Shut up."

"Alright, I'm sending you to the principal's office right now."

The boy replies, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"

In the office, the principal says, "Who do you think you are?"

The boy replies, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"

The principal now says, "How do you think you'll get away with this?"

The boy then replies, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"

Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.