it's jokes
I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.
I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. You guys didn't like it.
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."
What was the first thing Thanos snapped?
Loki’s neck.
I watched a documentary about a man who grew up in the Catholic church.
It was a touching story.
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
Yo mama so fat when she step on a scale it say, "To be continued..."
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
Dark humor is like cancer, it's funnier when children get it.
I wish my hair was depressed.
Cause then it would cut itself.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"
The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"
Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."
When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.
A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.
What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?
Hitting it off with a cricket bat.
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.