it's jokes

A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.

When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:

How does a train dance?

It bogies!

I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"

Bowling is like child support: it involves balls.

Yo mama so ugly, when she go to church they say it's a demon!

Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.

What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?

We have a case of Witzelsucht.

How did the nut study for its test?

It used the inter-nut.

I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.

I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

You wanna hear a construction joke?

I'm still workin' on it!

Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?

Cause it was plain.

What do you call it when orphans take a family photo? A selfie!

Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.

I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.

When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."

A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."

The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)

"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."

"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"