it's jokes

I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com

What do you call a genderless child?

It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.

When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."

A project manager, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip through the mountains. As they're going down a pass, the brakes suddenly fail. The car goes off the road and crashes down into the valley. A bit dazed, the three of them get out.

The project manager says, "Well, the best thing to do is to have a meeting and assess the situation."

The mechanical engineer replies, "Nonsense, I have my pocketknife, I'll fix the brakes with that."

Then the computer scientist comes along and says, "Why make it so complicated? Let's push the car back up the road, get in, and see if it happens again."

Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?

The adult person I asked: Cereal?

Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?

The person: Yes.

Me: WHAT?!!!??!!

I tried to write the shortest joke ever, so I wrote a two-word joke, which was "Dwarf Shortage." It's just so I could pack more jokes into the show.

A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"

He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"

My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"

I said: "Why?"

My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"

I said: "KNEW IT!"

I would say a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't land well.

What do you call it when orphans take a family photo? A selfie!

I once read a book on antigravity, it was impossible to put down.

Your hairline recedes so far back that it defends your forehead.

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”

I give bubblegum to the homeless so they can chew it and still be hungry.

What do you call a country's booty?

Its bottom line.

What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.

If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?

Years of child support!

Why did the turkey cross the road?

Answer:

To prove it wasn't chicken!

What would good be if it was a place?

It would be a desert because it had too many droughts!

Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.