it's jokes

Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?

Why can't you hear the Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because its pee is silent.

Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!

Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.

Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.

The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.

The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.

What am I?

A: A baby.

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.

Why was the Pokemon under your bed? So it can Pikachu.

One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!

Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.

Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party, and it was lit.

Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!

I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.

"If all of these structures break we will all die."

And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"

And he said, "It would be breaking news."

How do you make a handkerchief dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

Why was the dog staying in the shade?

Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!

Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

He sipped his coffee before it was cool.

I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"

Why didn't the chair cross the road? Because it was a chair.

Why did the turkey cross the road?

Because it was the chicken's day off!

I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."

Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.

I wish my lawn was emo, so I would not have to cut it, it would cut itself.