it's jokes
Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant joke.
But it would just crash and burn.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they are all crying in a dark corner.
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.
Son: Okay, I'll do it!
5 hours later...
Son: I'm done!
Dad: I lied.
Son: So did I!
Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:
"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."
Anyone know what bird that is?
What do you call it when an orphan goes to Panera Bread?
"Panera, my parents are dead."
What do you call it when Panera Bread is a book?
Panera Read.
We gotta keep it goin' ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
Your forehead is so big you can land a jumbo jet on it.
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
It took me 9.11 seconds to realize.
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?
They didn't because they ate it.
Joe Mama so dumb, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it is still printing.
Why did the ocean wave?
It wanted to say "Hi Tide."