it's jokes

Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?

Because you cannot break the ice.

Is it possible to stutter in sign language?

Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.

We found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than my dad.

An officer confronts two congressmen.

He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"

The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"

Why can Elsa hold a balloon? She will "Let It Go"!

Why is a ghost so predictable?

Because you can see right through it.

I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"

Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”

Wife: “ok... what is it?”

Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”

What’s the difference between a baby and a sandwich?

You don’t have sex with a sandwich before you eat it.

Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."

The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."

What makes 9/11 an inside job?

Someone started calling it 10/7.

Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.

The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"

The second said: "I'd do it for free!"

The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"

The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"

I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.

Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.

So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.

Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"

"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."

"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"

Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

Why did the math book kill itself?

It had too many problems.

Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?

A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.