it's jokes

What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?

Harry made it out of the chamber.

Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.

Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.

What did the titanic say as it was sinking?

I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge.

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.

When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.

I replaced "Jingle Bells" with "Jiggle Balls"... "Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way! Oh what fun it is to ride on jiggly balls today!"

I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.

Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?

It's pretty much a downward spiral.

what do you call it when a person dies in Panera Bread?

Panera dead.

It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.

I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?

Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.

I don't get it.

Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".

How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?

5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.

Why do they call my dick section 8?

Because all the hoes are on it.

A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."

It was just a prank, and stop calling our humor "plane." In our opinion, it's fire.

My life is so sad it's because you're in it.