it's jokes
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun... Then it dawned on me.
One time, I bought a magnet. My wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself; I felt attracted to it.
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.
One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking. I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.
The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.
The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.
What am I?
A: A baby.
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry.
I would tell you a joke about pizza,
but it's too cheesy.
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
It sucks that Stephen Hawking died so soon, the new Intel update just came out.
I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.
I heard he's doing a revival tour next month. It's called "Stephen Hawking Unplugged."
Have you seen the new movie "Constipated"?
No, it hasn't come out yet.
Stephen Hawking never wrote a book... it was a Dragon who was naturally speaking.
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.