it's jokes
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
What do you call it when Portericans surround your house?
A spicket fence!
I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.
He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it?
The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
Head of Company: "We need to stop testing our products on animals."
Consultant: "Why? The shampoo companies do it."
Head of Company: "Yeah, but we make dildos."
WTF is wrong with you guys? This is bullying. Stop it, please, but Shaenaya sounds like a good name.
Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?
It was Eight-Nothing.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."
People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."
People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.
My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.
Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.
Having an abortion will make you so tired... it literally sucks the life out of you.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!
He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.
I once had an owl who I thought it would fly away.
A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?
Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.