it's jokes

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

What did Yarn Yoshi say to Poochy whilst trying to solve a puzzle?

"Alright Poochy, it's time to get crafty!"

I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...

Why did the butthole get angry?

So it could wipe every human, snipe.

Rules of dark humor.

1. Everything shall be touched.

2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.

Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”

My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."

Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?

Because it was on strike.

Why did the electron leave the atom?

Because it didn't want to be argon.

Why did the electron leave the atom?

Because it had its ion someone else.

Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?

A: Because it was on crack.

Wanna hear a pizza joke?

Never mind, it's too cheesy.

You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.

Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"

I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.

I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.

Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center.

What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?

The cat is still alive.

What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?

Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.

So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"

Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.

My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.

It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"