it's jokes

Heart Monitor

    • When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.

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    • Kid

    • What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet... What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))

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    • Woman

    • A hot woman called "Jessie" was showering when the phone rang.

    Jessie was upset because the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and she goes out naked from the bathroom to answer the phone in the hall.

    Jessie on the phone: 《Hello? 》

    The one on the phone: 《Oh hi, I'm Jeff, I just wanted to tell you don't go out from your bathroom naked next time because my brother is behind you right now trying to rape you.》

    Jessie: 《Stop it my sister! This is the 10th time you do this cringe joke! It gets boring!》

    But sadly it wasn't a joke, and she cried a lot that night and learned how not to go out naked from the bathroom again.

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    • Football

    • Doctor, what is wrong with me?

    You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.

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    • Ovation

    • I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"

    I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.

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    • Fat Person

    • A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.

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    • Dog

    • My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.