it's jokes

Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.

How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.

Why did the roster cross the road twice?

To prove it was not a chicken.

A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.

The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"

Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.

I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.

It isn't a real charity until India opens call centers, like they did with Africa.

I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.

What runs but does not walk? It's water.

Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?

A: It’s always 90 degrees.

Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!

Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)

Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.

So I added Paul Walker on Xbox the other day, and it’s annoying cause all he does is sit on the dashboard.

Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.

You know sex is better than logic, but I could've proved it...

How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.

Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.

Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."

I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.

And then it hit me.