it's jokes
It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.
Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.
Patient: It runs in the family.
Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.
Why can't I have any chocolate ice cream for dessert? Because I made it disappear up your ass for good.
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
Yo mama is so stupid, when she saw on her computer it said "You have 3 cookies," she broke it.
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.
Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?
A: Because it was too tired!! 😴😴😴
It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.
But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Cause it got stuck in the crack.
*If you don't get it, it got stuck in the butt crack.*
Yo mama is so ugly that when she turned on the TV, it changed channels by itself.
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
Why are the jokes fat? Because you made it.
When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."
I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.