it's jokes
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
GIVEAWAAAAAAY!!!
Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it? And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!
Why do orphans play tennis?
It's the only way they get love.
He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.
So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"
Get it? "Horse-ing."
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.
Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.
There's like a weird after taste though.
Kinda like a sparkling water one.
I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.
Why can’t orphans eat cereal?
It says, "Family size."
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
Why did the wheel fall?
Because there were too many fat people on it.
What's the difference between a porn star and a mosquito?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.