it's jokes
Say this when showing this website to someone: "You know, it's too bad this website doesn't have a homepage."
Why does the queen move more than a king on the chessboard?
Because it looks like a kitchen floor.
Teacher: Why were you late?
Me: Traffic.
Teacher: Did I did it?
Me: Did I even blame it on you?
Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"
Your hairline is so far back it became a case.
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
Why do orphans only have iPhone 10+?
Because it doesn't have a home button.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
One dark stormy night when I was 8 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee. Half asleep, I walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door, I felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically, and the ghostly sound stopped. Terrified, I did what I had to and went back to bed.
The next 3 nights, the same thing happened, and finally, I decided I had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up, I went into my parents' room and woke my mom up and said, "You have to come with me and see this, it's really important." Half asleep, she murmured, "Oh, what is it? Can't it wait until the morning?" I pleaded, "No, you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost. When I go in the middle of the night, I can hear a ghost sound. Then when I open the door, I feel the cold as it swoops through me, and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "Oh, so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."
Why was the duck arrested?
Because it was caught selling quack.
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree?
It left him hanging.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.
What do you call it when two Mexicans fight?
Juan on Juan.
How do you know if a black lady’s pregnant?
You put a banana up her vagina and see if any little monkeys come and get it.
Why couldn't the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave Earth?
There wasn't enough space to fly it.
I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
I was shopping for a halloween costume, but once we got to the ghost section all of the costumes were out of stock! It turned out Pristiano Penaldo was buying them all! I came up to him and asked why he was doing this and he said: I’m sorry, but it’s match day, I must be a ghost 👻👻