it's jokes
A guy walks into a zoo, but it only has one dog.
It's a shitzu.
If I ever have a YouTube channel, I'm pretty sure it would be called "101 Things NOT To Do With Electrical Sockets."
I'm gonna make a documentary about meth-addicted prostitutes.
I think I'll call it "Whores on Ice."
Three girls were lined up for execution. The black-haired one, being the smart one, turned around and yelled, "Tornado!"
Everyone panicked, and she escaped. The red-headed one, following her example, shouted as the executioners got back, "Hurricane!"
The red-headed friend escaped too. Now, it was the blonde's turn. Following both her friends, she turned to the executioners and yelled:
"Fire!"
Today I asked my best friend what their favorite joke was. They started waving their hands around, and I thought it was a sign to go, thinking I had offended them or something. Turns out they were mute...
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!
Isn't Barbie supposed to come with Ken?
Barbie comes with G.I. Joe. She fakes it with Ken.
Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?
If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?
Your hairline is so back down, it is in your neck.
When it comes to mosquitoes in Africa, should you feel bad that they're getting AIDS from their victims?
What do you call it when a tranny commits suicide?
A good start.
The only thing the orphan learned from his dad is the hide-and-seek skill to hide for 18 years. He tried it out; now he has infinite milk.
What song is the most annoying for a Serb?
Sweet Home Alabama (because it sounds like Sweet Home Albania)!
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for it to turn itself in.
What do Michael Vick and John Wick have in common?
Got into deep shit when it came to dogs.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.
I had an operation on my knee, but it was a joint effort.
My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.
A pair of Newfoundlanders, watching TV, saw endless big-budget advertisements for mass-produced American beer.
One Newfie turns to the other and says, "They say that stuff is the biggest seller in the States, but I don't see what the big deal is." So they buy a bottle, pour it into a plain jar and decide to get an expert opinion.
They send a sample to a lab in St. John's to have it analyzed.
A day later, the lab results come back: "Your horse has diabetes."