IT jokes
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they build a shop on it.
I bet you $12345678901234567890 that you didn't read that number and you didn't notice that I put a letter in it. No, I didn't, but you went back and looked, didn't you?
School is like a boner. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.
Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
The white guy actually did it.
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣
I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.
Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?
A: It left him/her/them hanging.
What is purple and whines when it’s squished?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂
How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.
How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.
Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
If a heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from another heterosexual man at a glory hole, it's called a "brojob", but if a homophobic heterosexual man gets anonymous oral sex from a gay man at a glory hole, it's still called a "brojob". Does it cycle now?
Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?