IT jokes
What did the mouse say after its bath?
"I feel squeaky clean!"
Why did the tomato blush?
Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing.
I bought my friend a rope for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book ever.
Why did the orange stop? Because it ran out of juice.
370HSSV 0773H wait, you're reading it upside down.
This is a classic.
Why did the Dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!
What did the hecadrocophodecadus say to the hopetihopetifuckendecker?
"It didn't happen, but it should have."
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.
Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.
Teacher: Why?
Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.
Why do orphans play tennis?
It's the only way they get love.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"
A penis is driving a car when all of a sudden it gets hit by a car, what did the penis end up saying?
Aaaawwwww I got dicklash!
Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
You.
You who?
Don't you get it? You're the joke, dumbass!
What time is it when a rooster sits on a fence? Morning.
What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? Time to get a new fence.
What time is it when a lawyer sits on the fence? Time for an elephant to sit on the fence.
What is it called when young sheep bet?
LAMbling.
(haven't uploaded yesterday cuz couldn't think of a joke)
Teacher: What does the pig's skin do?
Student: It keeps pig skin together! 😂
Why can't you ever fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday!
Hey guys, it's an alien!
When you try to close a Google ad because it was covering content, but it was covered by "Ad closed by Google."