IT jokes
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.
911 happened a while ago and it's slowly losing its fame.
Time for a remake!
If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.
Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?
A: At least one does something when it is triggered.
Your hairline recedes so far back that it defends your forehead.
Your hairline is so bad, not even God could save it.
When a clock goes forward, it goes "tic-tac," but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic.
Ever heard of account stealing?
Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"?
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
Why doesn't the Chinese have a cricket team?
It's cuz they always eat the bat.
I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
Why do some people hate camping?
It's in tents.
What is it called when you talk in Panera Bread?
Panera said.
Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.
There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.
Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.
Yo mama so fat, she sat on my dick and broke it.
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it's a soap opera.
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!