IT jokes

As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.

Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."

How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?

Pick it up and suck its dick.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?

Because it had a Great Booty!

What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?

KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."

My brother said, "You want a cookie?"

What's Penaldo's least favorite food?

Indian Murukku, because it reminds him of Morocco! 🤣🤣🤣

I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 4K and above.

It's my New Year's resolution.

If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.

If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

What did the 9/11 survivor say when he went back to his family? "You won't believe it! The Twin Towers became conjoined twins when it happened!"

Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families, and careers.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?

I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!

It’s not cheating if you’re all siblings.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.

Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.

I have a joke about suicide, but I’ll just let it hang.

Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade, curd.

I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.

Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it.