IT jokes
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!
"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"
I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Spider-Man, because it told them there was no way home.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?
"Stop it! It hertz so much!"
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?
Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five.
It left him hanging.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.