IT jokes
What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.
What happens at night in Bangladesh?
It gets Dhaka.
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs too much!
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.