IT jokes

Leo must be a parking ticket... not because of the “fine” thing, nah, it’s because she’s OVERSTAYED her WELCOME.

Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.

“Hey, you!" said the man. “Did you see a boar run past?"

“Yes," replied Hodja.

“Which way did it go?" demanded the man.

Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.

The man rode away without a word of thanks, but he was back within minutes.

“No sign of it!" he said. “Are you sure it went that way?"

“I am certain," replied Hodja. “It went that way. Two years ago."

Why does rapeboat like going to the dog shelter? It's cheaper than a whore house.

A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."

Why did the mop lick the floor of the bathroom? Because it was so poopy.

Leo is like a cloud... when she disappears, it's a beautiful day.

I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!

Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for BLESSEDBRIAN. I think he owes it an apology.

I'd insult BlessedBrian, but it seems NATURE beat me to it.

What did the rapper say to his microwave?

"Yo, heat it up, fam!"

My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.

What did Rapboat's mom say to Rapboat?

"Is it in yet?"

Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?

I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.

It's amazing how BLESSEDBRIAN manages to keep his head in the clouds while his FEET are FIRMLY PLANTED in mediocrity.

BlessedBrian's face is like a mood ring... it turns blue whenever I'M around.

All countries will get Covid.

Except China, they got it right off the bat.

"If you're good at something, never do it for free."

Rapboat's mom charges $5 a blowie.

I was out to dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 47, had many people shouting at me and calling me a creep.

It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

What's the funniest thing you ever read? For me it was when Rapboat told me he was a legit rapper.

What did the rapper say to the SANDWICH?

"Wrap it up!"