IT jokes
Do you play COC?
Because it’s a pretty good game.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
There's one shop orphans can't go to, but what is it?
Home Depot.
If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!
I flew a paper airplane and I rate it 9/11.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
Your forehead is so big, it gets home 50 min before you do.
Yo mama is so retarded, they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!
My grandfather killed Hitler.
Get it? Get it?
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
What looks like it has jaundice and is filled with stupidity?
A Mexican.
The unicorn was so much better, and I love it!
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.