Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?" Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?" Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..." Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then". He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!" Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."
someone: stop making jokes about sh!
me; OH sorry man, ill cut it out, ill cut it out deep
Look at my name and you'll see the joke (read it out loud)
A teacher is doing an experiment, about taste. she tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. she gives Suzy a pineapple one, Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. that is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn, the teacher hands him a honey flavor one, Jhonny chews it for a while, then says, "Teacher, I don't know what it is.". the teacher tries to give him a hint and says "it's what you parents call each other when your alseep". immedietly the boy behind Jhonney screams "spit it out Jhonny it's an asshole!!!"
I was joking about self harm to my friend and she told me to CUT it out, I couldn't even laugh. When we were at the self checkout she started scanning my arms, I asked her what she was doing she said, ̈Trying to see if it beeps, ya think id get it to work if I scanned your thighs? ̈ I said, ̈Nah bro you'd overload the system if you put it there. ̈
whats thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
a baby smoothie
One day my pet bark at me and so I got scared anWas my dad actually it was weird you should’ve saw him and so the goes on in the day because he likes to run around The house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
Charizarding When you light a girls pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz then flap your arms and say "You don't have have enough badges to train me"
Jesus and his friend went fishing they both cast the line out and both of them get a bite but Jesus's friend misses and says "damn I missed" jesus said "that's a bad sentence to say if you say it 3 time something bad will happen to you" they cast it out again and both get a bite and Jesus's friend misses again and says "damn I missed" jesus replied "if you say that one more time something bad will happen" they cast out again and Jesus's friends line snaps and he says "damn I missed" jesus said "that's the last time something bad will happen" the biggest thunder storm ever seen appeared and a lightning bolt struck jesus and a voice came from the clouds "damn I missed"
This morning I was in the kitchen and I saw some a whole bunch of leftovers brownies made from scratch i just taste one and spit it out because somebody put some godamn weed in them what the fuck.
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry. You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
how do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see it's facial expressions how do you get it out tortilla chip
Hey Yall, You want to read something funny. Then look up greater tuna OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID(Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.
One day i told a kid what 2 x 12 was he said he didn't know i said lets go to my basement and figure it out he is still in my basement trying to do the equation
Every time my cousin and i we settle it out with our game a so we play rock paper sissors 😂🤣🤣
2 7 73 53
I'll give you time, figure it out
Some kid- hey did you know theres an orphanage down the street?! Me-NO WAY! Wanna check it out? Kid-NO ITS HAUNTED!! Me- Haunted my ass lets go! Kid- wait isnt your house also haunted??? Me- yea
Let’s try and make this joke the most liked and commented on this website. (Ps, you made need to say it out loud to get it) I went to a zoo and there was no people and there was one dog. It was a shit-zoo.
My pp was in the guiness world record book. The librarianthen asked me to take it out.
