It Doesn't Matter jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn鈥檛 matter, I鈥檓 going to drop it anyway!" 馃槀馃槀馃槀
Q. What do you call a person with Alzheimer's?
It doesn't matter. They'll forget what you said in thirty seconds anyway.
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.
And it doesn鈥檛 matter if it鈥檚 credit or debit.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter; he's not coming.
Why is the last part of orphanage "age?"
Because it doesn't matter your age.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
I got hit with a can of soda.
It doesn't matter, it was a soft drink.
What do you call a dead hooker?
It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.
If you are on here, don鈥檛 hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn鈥檛 matter.
What is large, grey, and it doesn't matter? An Irrelephant! Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he's not coming.
There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"
How many Tottenham players does it take to win a trophy? It doesn't matter how hard they try, they still can't win one anyway.
I have a daughter; she鈥檚 a fan. Her name is Penny. Fan she was born on the mountain Pen y Fan. I adopted her because her mum fell off the cliff after birthing Penny. It doesn鈥檛 matter, really; Penny鈥檚 mum wasn鈥檛 a big fan of her anyway.
In Africa, it doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, or bisexual.
At the end of the day, it's night.
"INNOCENT! THERE IS NO WAY TO PROVE THAT THE GIRL WAS 13. It doesn't matter what texts he sent. There is no way to prove that the girl was 13, or the fact that it was a girl. Failed sting operation."