Intimacy jokes

I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.

Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!

(I am still a single young virgin.)

This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."

I’m horny who else is *ugh ugh papi harder*.

How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are naked.

What is better than hitting a booty? Playing with the titties.

Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)

When the guy asks the girl if she's wet, she replies, "Yeah, milky knickers!"

How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!

That’s the best I’ve done so far.

What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.

Rubbing everywhere but not the clit and asking, "Do you like that?"

(dude wtf)

What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.

They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.

Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.

I told my wife she was lousy in bed.

She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"

My woman told me that she wants to have sex with me, and I said, "Let's go at it." She said, "Shut up and kiss me on all my pillows."

GF: Laying down.

BF: GROANING

GF: Are you good at aiming and shooting?

BF: Yeah, why?

GF: Shoot that did in there.

BF: Mmmhuugh

My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"

Brojobs are like air. It's not important until you don't have any.