Intimacy jokes
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie. Your other brothers can't deny that she's fly. We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that. She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half black. But your mom's the best, the super M.I.L.F. 'Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain't a chef. And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol But if I were you, I wouldn't kiss your mom on the mouth at all. She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed. She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I'll be honest She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna. She's so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess. I didn't wanna tell you, but I had to write this song 'Cause I'm in your house every night doin' your mo-om.
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.
Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!
(I am still a single young virgin.)
This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."
I’m horny who else is *ugh ugh papi harder*.
How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are naked.
What is better than hitting a booty? Playing with the titties.
Are you electricity? 'Cause I wanna get a bath with you ;)
When the guy asks the girl if she's wet, she replies, "Yeah, milky knickers!"
How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
Rubbing everywhere but not the clit and asking, "Do you like that?"
(dude wtf)
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.