How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
Rubbing everywhere but not the clit and asking, "Do you like that?"
(dude wtf)
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
I told my wife she was lousy in bed.
She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"
My woman told me that she wants to have sex with me, and I said, "Let's go at it." She said, "Shut up and kiss me on all my pillows."
GF: Laying down.
BF: GROANING
GF: Are you good at aiming and shooting?
BF: Yeah, why?
GF: Shoot that did in there.
BF: Mmmhuugh
My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"
Brojobs are like air. It's not important until you don't have any.
What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common?
A blowjob is anonymous.
My girl walks in the room in nude mode and sat on my dick. I said, "What up, your pussy?" She said, "Your dick."
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
Knob Klondike, I want Ellen. Poobiess, please. I want big juicy pobs in me right now. Ellen girl, give milk boob to me with good Pochyy, babie.
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
What happened when you put your penis in? You start cumming!
A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”
There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.
