Intimacy jokes
What does a woman call Stormzy in bed?
Stiff chocolate.
Who ever said "condom?" YES DADDY!
Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?
Because it got pissed off!
Ty choked on DT’s willy.
What does the penis say to the condom? "Cover me I'm going inside."
Prince, are you really gay, because I love you with all my heart and pray for you all the time!
PLEASE CHOOSE ME INSTEAD! :(
Why do men lick girls' boobs in sex?
'Cause they are just boys.
Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.
She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.
Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie. Your other brothers can't deny that she's fly. We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that. She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half black. But your mom's the best, the super M.I.L.F. 'Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain't a chef. And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol But if I were you, I wouldn't kiss your mom on the mouth at all. She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed. She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I'll be honest She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna. She's so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess. I didn't wanna tell you, but I had to write this song 'Cause I'm in your house every night doin' your mo-om.
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.
Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!
(I am still a single young virgin.)
This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."
I’m horny who else is *ugh ugh papi harder*.