Insult jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.

Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.

I was gonna roast you about your chin, but I didn't know which one to talk about.

There's no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in cunt.

Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.

I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.

A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, "You're adopted!" The sister yells back, "At least they wanted me!"

What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.

So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."

Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."

Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"

Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.

If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.

Your hairline is so far back, it left before your dad.

If I wanted to kill myself, I would just climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.

Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"

Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.

I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.

My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, "OK, you're ugly too."

Yo mama is so fat, it took Nationwide 15 years to get on her side.

This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.

Little Johnny was playing with his train and said, "All you motherf*ckers who want to get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on, get on." His mother hears him and asks, "Is that you cussing?" The mother said, "Go to your room for 1 hour." Little Johnny goes to his room, then comes back one hour later and said, "All you motherf*ckers who wanna get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on, get on, and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay, go ask the b*tch in the kitchen."