If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.
There's no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in cunt.
I was gonna roast you about your chin, but I didn't know which one to talk about.
A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, "You're adopted!" The sister yells back, "At least they wanted me!"
So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."
I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.
Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."
Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."
Your hairline is so far back, it left before your dad.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would just climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, "OK, you're ugly too."
Yo mama is so fat, it took Nationwide 15 years to get on her side.
Little Johnny was playing with his train and said, "All you motherf*ckers who want to get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on, get on." His mother hears him and asks, "Is that you cussing?" The mother said, "Go to your room for 1 hour." Little Johnny goes to his room, then comes back one hour later and said, "All you motherf*ckers who wanna get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on, get on, and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay, go ask the b*tch in the kitchen."
I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.
Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.
Person 2: I know how to fix that!
... Next day person commits suicide...
