Insult Jokes

Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?

Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.

My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.

Bully: "Nobody loves you."

Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."

Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.

Girlfriend: Am I pretty or ugly?

Boyfriend: You're both!

Girlfriend: What do you mean by that?

Boyfriend: You're pretty ugly!!!

Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat a whole species went extinct.

I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!

Yo mama so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.

Your forehead is so big your inner thoughts echo.

What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.

What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.

I know five fat people, and you're three of them.

An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.

The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"

The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."

Bully: "I would roast you but my mom told me not to burn trash."

Me: "So that's why you haven't burnt yourself yet." 🤔

You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.

I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.

Yo momma so fat, her belt size is E for Equator.

Richard: Mom, someone called me gay.

Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across his face?

Richard: No, I couldn't.

Richard's mom: Why?

Richard: Because he was cute.

Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you?

Your mom is a slow comedian. It took her 9 months to make a good joke.