Insult jokes

Little Johnny was playing with his train and said, "All you motherf*ckers who want to get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on, get on." His mother hears him and asks, "Is that you cussing?" The mother said, "Go to your room for 1 hour." Little Johnny goes to his room, then comes back one hour later and said, "All you motherf*ckers who wanna get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on, get on, and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay, go ask the b*tch in the kitchen."

Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.

Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.

Person 2: I know how to fix that!

... Next day person commits suicide...

Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?

Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.

Bully: "Nobody loves you."

Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."

My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.

Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.

Yo mama so fat, when she bought a fur coat a whole species went extinct.

Girlfriend: Am I pretty or ugly?

Boyfriend: You're both!

Girlfriend: What do you mean by that?

Boyfriend: You're pretty ugly!!!

Yo momma so fat, her belt size is E for Equator.

Yo mama so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.

Your forehead is so big your inner thoughts echo.

What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.

What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.

I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.

An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.

The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"

The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."

Richard: Mom, someone called me gay.

Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across his face?

Richard: No, I couldn't.

Richard's mom: Why?

Richard: Because he was cute.

Bully: "I would roast you but my mom told me not to burn trash."

Me: "So that's why you haven't burnt yourself yet." 🤔

You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.

I know five fat people, and you're three of them.

Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you?