Insult

Insult Jokes

Mom

Kid: Are you gay?

Me: No, I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on.

Dwarf

When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?

When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...

  • 4
  • Yo mama

    Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.

  • 3
  • Mom

    Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.

    Roast

    Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."

  • 6
  • Yo mama

    Yo mama so ugly, she went to the bathroom and scared the sh*t out of the toilet.

    Teeth

    The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"

    The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"

    "Yellow and far apart."

    Mama

    Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.

  • 2
  • Suicide

    If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to your ego, and then jump down to your IQ.

    Comeback

    My friend: "Yo, stupid."

    Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?"

    My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever."

    Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."

  • 4
  • Bus Driver

    So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.

    "If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"

    "If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"

    And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:

    "Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"

    Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"