INS jokes
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.
A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
Did you hear about the two-car pile-up in Mexico? Yeah like 200 Mexicans died.
I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
What's brown and hairy? A bear.
What's brown, hairy, and is in love with Ethan Herbst? Arij.
What did one orphan say to the other? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."
These days, there are only two political parties in India: BJP and anti-BJP.
What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?
One kid in eight dustbins.
Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
Look in the mirror. There's a joke for you.
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?
Go look in the mirror.
What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?
Ashtraynauts.
What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?
Little boys' pants half off.
I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.