INS jokes
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old.
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
Two of my grandpas died in WW2.
Their tower fell over.
A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.
"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"
The man with glasses frowns.
"Where did all the others go, then?"
What do the names Alan and Jordan have in common?
An.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY COCK!
What do you call a policeman/farmer?
A farmer in blue!
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.
You're American when you go in the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but what are you when you are still in the bathroom? European (you're-a-peein').
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
Want to know why some astronomers are gay?
It’s because they want to be in Uranus.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
That camping trip was in-tents.
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"
His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."
The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"
"His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."
The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."
The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."
"No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's grave?
"Rust in peace."