INS jokes

What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?

They both look good hanging from a tree.

Grove Christian School is a great school in Richmond, Virginia. I recommend that you go there.

I give props to pedophiles.

They always go slow in the school zones.

I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.

I have to call Bovfa. What's Bovfa? Bovfa deez nuts fit in your mouth.

I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?

I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.

What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.

Fila is a cool brand. I fill a cock in my ass.

Where do you think all the orphans went?

In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.

A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.

Archer riddle has less atoms in his brain than he does in his dick, and his dick is 1/4 of a millimeter.

You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.

Which president has never gone to jail?

Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?

Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.

Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.

One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"

The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"

Why did the toilet paper not make it across the road?

Because it got stuck in the crack.

I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."

Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.