INS jokes
Why is 10 so scared? Cause it was in the middle of 9/11.
A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said, "You are what we are looking for, but I need to test your skills." He hands her a pen. He said, "Sell me this pen." She puts it between her boobs.
My name has "anus" in it.
How do you fit a baby in a glass?
A blender.
How do you get it out?
Explosives!
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.
Q. What is the most endangered creature in India?
A. The baby girl.
Anybody home? :)
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When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
Q: What do you call America in a year? A: A wasteland.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
What do you call a bunch of microcephalics in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.
What do elves study in school?
The elf-abet.
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.