INS jokes
How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.
My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints.
What type of people think rape jokes are funny?
Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.
What do gay guys and priests have in common?
They are both gay in their own ways.
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.
What did the people in 9/11 say when they got the wrong pizza? Man, they got it wrong, I wanted this shitty plane!
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.
What does McDonald's and priests have in common?
They put their meat inside 10 year olds.
The "W" in Africa stands for water.