INS jokes
What do Princess Diana and the Beatles have in common?
They both made quite an impact in Europe.
A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.
They're all Predators!
TJ's hairline is so far back, if you travel back in time, you still won't find it.
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
What do orphans and police not have in common?
The police can actually go home.
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
At the library, I got in trouble for putting a cooking book in the women's section.
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.
What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.
I pushed the kid in a wheelchair into fire... I called him "HOT WHEELS".
What do you call somebody in America that is smart?
An immigrant.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.
What does a cute deaf girl and a fire have in common?
They're both hot, but they're both quiet.