Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldnβt support Windows.
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, cause they donβt need a home button
Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)
22. Give a man a match, and heβll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?
Cutting-edge Technology.
Who discovered shrimp were edible?
Probably the same one who invented the blowjob.
Whatβs Elon Musk Jr.'s favorite food?
WD 5TB My Passport Portable External Hard Drive HDD, USB 2.0 Compatible, Black - WDBPKJ0050BBK-WESN
I really like those 'driverless cars'. I saw loads of them last week, in the car park.
Q: What was the orphan's first phone?
A: The iPhone X because it had no home button.
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
...their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
I started selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are through the roof!
1979: I bet there will be "flying cars" in "the future."
2019: The flying cars future.
"We've invented the spade!"
"Oh wow, this is ground-breaking!"
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell; they come with an Elon Musk.
