How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
A boner.
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
What do you call a white kid looking at infants?
Pedophilia boy.
má ég fara heim
(in an infant esque voice)
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
An orphan's first word would be "orphan keeper."
What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree?
One baby nailed to ten trees.