Infant jokes
What's better than one dead baby?
Two dead babies.
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel its skin off.
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive.
What is worse still? It has to eat its way out.
What's worse than that? It went back for seconds.
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. XD
Why do babies cry? Cuz they can't suck very well.
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
How do you stop a baby from crying?
Throw a brick in its mouth.
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.