I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life ten when I woke up my wife was gone.
Im at my happiest point in life im dating someone thats autistic, and i was just saying i needed someone special in my life.
My mom said i need Jesus in my life, So I drunk up the holy water ;}.
I've been hit by several things in my life. Sadly, never a car.
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me
yore the sun in my life now get 93 million miles away from me
What is the difference between harry houdini and everyone else in my life, harry was the only person not to disappear
Chenle: One time when i was younger, someone asked me how old i was and i forget. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.
Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕
"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo." -Al Nassr owner
I told my sister that when you got to bed with an itchy but your going to have smelly fingers in the morning and i've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.
One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. 'Why are you early, it is not even christmas?' - ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Lets worry about you instead' says Santa. What is the problem my friend?' - I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house.' Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i'll give it to you-' Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!
Earnie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Earnie "how did you sleep?" Earnie replied with "I slept amazing I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life." Burt replied with "good to hear, I slept amazing too, I had a dream that I was in heaven surround by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
