If jokes

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If we can't see air, can fish see water?

If I busted an egg on your head... The yolk would be on you... hahaha...

Like if you know what ashes are.

Why is 8 scared of 7?

Because 7 8 9. If you think it doesn't make sense, then it is "7 ate 9."

Your mama's so fat, I don’t know if it is a hippo or not.

What do you say if you are raped once but feel raped twice?

"I was raped raped."

DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DABDAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB DAB.

If you like penis.

If humanity were to nominate the gayest country in the world, it would be Tel Aviv, honestly.

If you're ever bored just fuck some orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

If your sisert makes you 100% mad, slap your siert.

Me: MOM, I'm tired.

Mom: Take a nap.

Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.

Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.

Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?

I would too if my name was Braille.

So I told my sister, "Want [to] hear some jokes?" and she was like, "Hit me with [your] best shot, fire away," and I was like, "Okay, I know [you're] singing an old song, yeah I was trying to see if [you] sing too," and I said, "Who do [you] think I am, Chris Brown?"

A friend warned me that if I voted for Goldwater in 1964, we'd end up bombing North Viet Nam.

Well, I voted for him anyway, and sure enough, we ended up bombing North Viet Nam.

If someone called you ugly, say before you call me ugly, look in a mirror.

If nine is a number, then why on Earth is not "ja" a number?

If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."

Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.

My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.